Pressing through the Pain and all that Follows

This weekend was a hard one. It was full of agitation. I was agitated when I went home to Drexel Hill this past weekend. My grandmother is spending the over for my grandfather's funeral. The house is cold. The heater in the basement needs oil. I almost blew a gasket. I felt so stressed because the funeral so happens to be on finals week. Life sucks. But I have to press through. I have been over analytical with my emotions during this time. I haven't had a good cry. It's like when you about to sneeze but it just won't come out. Yeah, that's what it feels like. Nevertheless I have work to finish. I have a take home exam I haven't started yet. It's due tomorrow...i think. I also have an exam in Electronic Systems. I hate that class. I love the professor. Dr. Brusic is awesome but I'm not electronically-inclined. I have an aversion to all things mathematic and scientific. I'm failing that class.

A lot has been on my mind. Will I make it to grad school? I feel burned out already. I've been in college for five years. I've developed a passion to learn about communication theory, cultural theory, and theology during my time here. I'm not fit for the entertainment business. I was mean't to be a talking brain.... uh I mean scholar.

Is this failing grade going to keep me out of grad school? Maybe I need to independent study of some sort in the next semester. Maybe I should write a paper. I don't know. I better hurry up because I got work to do.

I keep wondering why I haven't cried yet. Maybe I'm saving it for the funeral. I know Pop is not there. He's certainly in a better place. I miss him.

Well, I gotta press through 'til I reach Saturday. That will be my Sabbath. I'll rest for a good while. In the meantime my studies awaits. Gotta go!